Fake diarrhea is one of the easiest ways to fake sick. It is the best last minute way to get out of an appointment, stay home from school or work. If you have limited time to get out of something then diarrhea attack will be the way to do it. If you have enough time to prepare or need to fake sick for a longer time I you could try a different one.
How to fake having diarrhea
The simplest way of course is just to say that you have diarrhea and are not coming/going. If you want to stay home from school and are reading this then it probably is because you have to convince your parents or teacher that you are sick. So if simply saying that you have diarrhea wont help then you will have to convince them but to do that you will need more than just a few minutes.
Last minute fake diarrhea attack
Run to the toilet as if you need to go really bad, if possible bump into your parent will on your way to the toilet. Don’t look them in the eye otherwise they might sense that you are trying to pull some trick on them. The only thing on your mind is that you have diarrhea and can’t hold it anymore.
If your parents come to the door to ask whats going on then ask them to leave because you are not feeling well. After 10 minutes come out of the toilet after having flushed multiple times. Make sure to put a bit of water on your forehead.
Fake diarrhea with some preparation
Don’t eat (at least not in front of your parents). Make sure to complain a few times that you are not feeling good (not too often, 1-2 times should be enough) and have a stomach ache. After you have complained that you have a stomach ache wait for about 15 minutes and then go to the toilet for a while. Tell your parents that what came out of you didn’t look good (no blood or anything but just watery shit or something like that) and that you are nauseous. After 10 minutes visit the toilet again and after that again in 45 minutes. Don’t go to the toilet more that that, maybe after an hour or more if they force you to eat something. Drink only water and say that you are dehydrated. Keep that going and force them to let you stay home the next day because you are still not feeling good and have diarrhea.
Remember not to overdo anything! And always ask your parents if they also have diarrhea and discuss with them from what kind food might be couching this that you have eaten.
If your parents are hard to convince just try to get a hold of some laxatives. Don’t take too much otherwise you will feel really sick. The laxative’s will do its work for you so you probably won’t even have to fake anything. Just don’t forget you are a lying son of a bitch and let the laxative’s do their job.This method isn’t very good because you will actually feel bad and really have diarrhea but it depends of course what the reason is that you want to stay home for. Remember taking too much laxatives or any at all is bad for you so you should not do that. If you do then we may not be held responsible for the consequences.
If you say you have diarrhea nobody will probably ask for details, if they do they probably are a bit retarded or are your parents and think you are dieing because you exaggerated.
Fake diarrhea symptoms
Faking any sickness will have the best result if you also take a look at the symptoms. That way you will know enough about it to not get busted because you are missing one of them or are faking something that has nothing to do with diarrhea.
- Need to use the bathroom (explosive diarrhea)
- Feeling sick to the stomach (vomiting)
Tips, dos and don’ts of fake diarrhea
- Don’t eat and drink only water
- Always discuss what food might be causing you diarrhea
- Never say that there is blood or anything like that in your POO, in fact don’t discuss the looks of it at all if possible
- Know how to fake the symptoms such as dehydration and so on
- Use the toilet often but not too often and stay there for a while
- Don’t fake it immediately after eating, it usually takes a while