How to Fake Diarrhea

By | February 6, 2013

Fake diarrhea is one of the easiest ways to fake sick. It is the best last minute way to get out of an appointment, stay home from school or work. If you have limited time to get out of something then diarrhea attack will be the way to do it. If you have enough time to prepare or need to fake sick for a longer time I you could try a different one.

How to Fake Diarrhea

How to Fake Diarrhea

How to fake having diarrhea

The simplest way of course is just to say that you have diarrhea and are not coming/going. If you want to stay home from school and are reading this then it probably is because you have to convince your parents or teacher that you are sick. So if simply saying that you have diarrhea wont help then you will have to convince them but to do that you will need more than just a few minutes.

Last minute fake diarrhea attack

Run to the toilet as if you need to go really bad, if possible bump into your parent will on your way to the toilet. Don’t look them in the eye otherwise they might sense that you are trying to pull some trick on them. The only thing on your mind is that you have diarrhea and can’t hold it anymore.

If your parents come to the door to ask whats going on then ask them to leave because you are not feeling well. After 10 minutes come out of the toilet after having flushed multiple times. Make sure to put a bit of water on your forehead.

Fake diarrhea with some preparation

Don’t eat (at least not in front of your parents). Make sure to complain a few times that you are not feeling good (not too often, 1-2 times should be enough) and have a stomach ache. After you have complained that you have a stomach ache wait for about 15 minutes and then go to the toilet for a while. Tell your parents that what came out of you didn’t look good (no blood or anything but just watery shit or something like that) and that you are nauseous. After 10 minutes visit the toilet again and after that again in 45 minutes. Don’t go to the toilet more that that, maybe after an hour or more if they force you to eat something. Drink only water and say that you are dehydrated. Keep that going and force them to let you stay home the next day because you are still not feeling good and have diarrhea.

Remember not to overdo anything! And always ask your parents if they also have diarrhea and discuss with them from what kind food might be couching this that you have eaten.

If your parents are hard to convince just try to get a hold of some laxatives. Don’t take too much otherwise you will feel really sick. The laxative’s will do its work for you so you probably won’t even have to fake anything. Just don’t forget you are a lying son of a bitch and let the laxative’s do their job.This method isn’t very good because you will actually feel bad and really have diarrhea but it depends of course what the reason is that you want to stay home for. Remember taking too much laxatives or any at all is bad for you so you should not do that. If you do then we may not be held responsible for the consequences.

If you say you have diarrhea nobody will probably ask for details, if they do they probably are a bit retarded or are your parents and think you are dieing because you exaggerated.

Fake diarrhea symptoms

Faking any sickness will have the best result if you also take a look at the symptoms. That way you will know enough about it to not get busted because you are missing one of them or are faking something that has nothing to do with diarrhea.

Tips, dos and don’ts of fake diarrhea

  • Don’t eat and drink only water
  • Always discuss what food might be causing you diarrhea
  • Never say that there is blood or anything like that in your POO, in fact don’t discuss the looks of it at all if possible
  • Know how to fake the symptoms such as dehydration and so on
  • Use the toilet often but not too often and stay there for a while
  • Don’t fake it immediately after eating, it usually takes a while

39 thoughts on “How to Fake Diarrhea

  1. DreamingPheonix

    Spray some air freshener in the toilet in cause anyone goes in after you. Remember diarrhoea SMELLS!(yuck)

    Reply
    1. someone

      Whuut, why? Say you flushed it and now nothing else comes out :D… And otherwise just go for nausea!

      Reply
  2. Tatsuhiro Sato

    Well, I already have a medical condition that causes real ‘functional’ diarrhoea (non-pathogenic diarrhoea). I have diarrhoea predominant irritable bowel syndrome (IBS-D). However, between flare-ups, if I need to have diarrhoea ‘façade’, then this would definitely help! Thanks

    Reply
  3. arjun

    I tried this and my mom still wants me to go to school saying i cant miss out on any classes T.T

    Reply
    1. Akshita

      I tried this and I am getting to hear all the blame. From my food habits to sleeping habits to the world war. All the blames on me for everythng wrong that is happening in the whole wide world!

      Reply
        1. Sasha

          Honestly, Having a doctor parents sucks. I have tried almost everything from this site. But my parents still are not saying don’t go to school.

          Reply
  4. Lolly

    Okay, boy do I have a story to tell.
    First I ate two waffles, I set a timer for 18 min so they don’t get suspicious because it was exactly 15. So I rush to the toilet and…get ready…
    THERE WAS GLAD WRAP! So I had to do something because by the look on my face I would start going immediately. So me, being a quick thinker do a loud moan. Then I put a small amount of water on the glad wrap, and put three color tablets in the water to make brown. (The dissolving ones, red, yellow, and blue.) God must of meant for me to stay home because there’s some leftover corn from when my brother was eating in the shower! I mix some of it with the brown liquid, along with some nesporn, for slight texture. Then I put my mother’s blush all over my face to make me look mad and march out of the room. I go straight into the other bathroom and flush the toilet a few times, and after awhile, come out, I follow rest of steps and mother and father belived me! Thanks!

    Reply
  5. ..

    Thank you it’s working you see my mom has diarrhea to so I said I have it to but she is still making me go to school

    Reply
  6. Pauline Marshall

    So far this is working and I’m really excited to see the results😀

    Reply
  7. Rhiannon

    This works! And my mom is a nurse!!! BTW you can soak a cardboard toilet paper roll and rip it up then put it in the toitet to make it look like poop.

    Reply
  8. MyUncleHasDownSyndromeSoFuckOff

    ‘they are probably a bit retarded’
    Probably not as much as the fucking cunt who wrote this bullshit article.

    Reply
  9. txslim

    drink two bottles of water poop then stir it and mush it but wear gloves

    Reply
  10. Ezra Ong

    I usually pump air and water into the ass that way it’ll sounds really real. Water and air causes a great explosion effect.

    Reply
  11. Ezra Ong

    I usually pump air and water into the ass that way it’ll sounds really real. Water and air causes a great explosion effect. And let it go once it’s full in there.

    Reply
  12. Otaku_Trash

    I’ve missed 3 days of school so far because of this and I don’t know if it’s just because my mom is super gullible or if this article actually works… …either way a win-win for me I guess?

    Reply
  13. Lightsdiariah

    I’m faking bad stomach and sore throat and my mom believes me.

    Thnx 😋😋🤢🤧🤒

    Reply

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